Or did I...???
Actually, yes. I did.
But I have, regardless of absolutely NO weight-loss, changed a lot in many ways. I spent several weeks living in solitude over Xmas and going for long hill-walks and laps of a 25m pool. I didn't stop eating or even cut down but I changed what I ate and tried to eat mindfully.
Biggest change? I became vegan. I was always vegetarian but I didn't want dairy or eggs from farmed animals in my diet any more so that was the end of that. And I stuck to that! Which just goes to show I CAN stick to things if I have the incentive - but it is likely to be a moral or ethical issue that does it for me. Not merely weight-loss (unfortunately). This is likely due to the medication I take which eases the anxiety I feel in every day life and so, ironically, takes the edge off any anxiety I have about my weight. This is both good and bad. I FEEL great most of the time and I dress well and like the way I look. However, it's a warped image I have in my head in some ways. I still think in my head that I am 61 kilos and 29 years old! Great, I hear you say... not great in reality. Sometimes you need to accept the truth. But the medication is also partly why I weigh what I weigh. No excuses there (well...maybe a couple) but it plays merry havoc with one's metabolism - it's all a bit confusing really.
So to bring you up to date, I haven't given up.
And, regardless of being the fattest I have ever been, I am proud of that fact (of not giving up - not that I am the fattest I have ever been :/ )
So, out went the Optifast (coz it's all too hard and all dairy and shit) and today I joined Weight Watchers (WW) which, empirically, has the evidence to back it as one of the best (if not the best) weight-loss solutions. Plus, I was bored shitless in the licensing office whilst waiting over an hour for my son to get his driver's permit so joining on-line gave me something to do...
Him getting his license is part of it too. I suddenly have part of my life back again. I have raised two healthy kids to adulthood (almost, in the case of our son), both have their cars paid for by us, and I have always worked full-time as a teacher to do it - so I also feel a sense of the proverbial "me-time" coming on. It's time. Time to lose weight. Time to look good again. To feel really light and sexy. And to ensure my health is going to stand the test of time.
Also, I am stingy enough to know that paying a monthly fee means I will be more likely to stick to it.
So, Weight-Watchers it is! I have used them in the past after the babies were born and now the technology means I can scan the barcodes of packaged food, all exercise is synced to my Fitbit, it's dead easy to use, and I can eat as many vegies as I like because THEY DON'T COUNT!? And I can drink wine. Nothing is off-limits. It just has to be fitted in to the daily points total.
Being vegan is no issue and I have joined a vegan / vegie support group within WW. I have also joined an environmentally-conscious group, a binge-eating group (for help when I feel like going on a bender), and a group within WW that support people who battle depression and are on medication so weight-loss is harder than ever.
There (oddly I felt) was no atheist, secular-humanist, free-thinking, arty-farty, slightly-on-the-hippy-side, existentialist, greenie, Marilyn-worshipping, feminazi weightloss support group....
Maybe I'll start one.
