Days 3&4: Feeling like crap but knowing it won't last coz...science

I won't kid you; Day 3 was shit and I had to meditate my way through the blues, the hunger pains, and the cravings for bread. I also took two walks yesterday just to get out of my own funk. It worked! I made lunch and dinner for the family and resisted every urge to grab bulk onion rings and shove them into my salivating gob. I see that as a small victory.

But, when you are doing something as drastic as trying to lose weight (especially when nothing else has worked for 8 years of trying, and prior to that, you only had to stop looking at bread and potatoes to lose weight), it's vital that you DON'T go along with the fads and you DO consult actual science and medical advice instead of unverified, pseudo-scientific, hippy webpages.

So here's the boring stuff that is not-so-boring when you need to know what's going on inside your own bod:

The point of a VLCD (very low calorie diet) is your body goes into mild ketosis. There is nothing wrong with this but it's hard to get through the induction phase (3 days).

So, I got through Day 3 by drinking a lot of water, walking, and trying new meditations. The one I liked the best was from a podcast I get on my iPhone called "The Meditation Station" and it was The Zone for Emotional Weightloss. Mindfullness meditation and visualisation are scientifically-proven methods for altering one's experience and forming healthy changes. My specialist recommends them and he has never steered me wrong in the years I have been seeing him. I am going to try out some different meditation podcasts today to see what else I like and can use for different situations in my life when I would ordinarily turn to food for comfort or stress-release.

                                                   Me wishing I was dead earlier in Day 3

                                        Me later on in the day after a walk and some lippy :)

Reference: http://www.docsopinion.com/2014/06/02/ketosis/


Best thing? Heading into Day 4 feeling great and looking forward to the challenge. See you on the other side.

Day 2: Sunshine and (yesterday's) Baked Beans

The whole reason I started this narcissistic blog about something as (let's face it) fucking boring as weight loss is because I usually give in by the afternoon of the first day. So do most sane people (or so I like to tell myself...)

Hence, this fucking boring weight loss blog.

I need to feel accountable to someone other than myself without paying money to organisations that charge you for the use of their scales (and where Little Britain's Fat Fighter's Club comes to mind).

I also love to write so it gets me doing two things I need to be doing - eating less and writing more.

Today was easy-peasy really. I kept thinking about food and the usual responses to walking into the kitchen and seeing food were what was to be expected from someone with short-term memory loss and low blood sugar: I would like a peanut butter sandwich. Um, no, you can't have one. What? Why? You're an idiot. Oh, I forgot. Shit. (Rolls eyes). Drinks water instead...yum.

Unfortunately, yesterday's binging on everything in the cupboard in order to get rid of it had some unintended, and unwanted, side-effects as, having no food in the house lately due to financial difficulties, the only really large stockpile of anything (apart from Merlot and Classic White) was baked beans and stuffed olives. I paid for last night's efforts to reduce the stockpile, well, today, shall we say...and this evening. And tonight.

I went for a walk to the shops, which was a little hard on the injured tailbone but I swung my hips a bit and the stretch felt therapeutic. Got the sun on my shoulders and a dose of Vitamin D. I didn't feel hungry in the Coles aisles and only did a double-take once at the 2 for $5 offer on Pringles. So I got my walk in, helped the environment, flushed out my kidneys with lots of water, and watched a motivational vid of the chemical changes by body is going through and what to expect tomorrow.

Today was meditation day so I found one that repeated how much I love my body, over and over, til I had to stop the bloody thing. You see, I don't have a problem with NOT loving my body; my problem is loving my body too damn much! I feed what I love, like my kids and my husband. If I want to show love to someone, I cook for them or buy them good coffee spontaneously. Or I leave sweeties on people's desks at work. Or I supply them with wine and cheese. Get my point?

I found a better one that gets you to visualise yourself in white, vibrant light and imagining yourself lighter. I liked that one and I relaxed and fell asleep. But it sort of sunk in the way it was supposed to and I will probably go to that meditation when I feel the urge to eat what I am not supposed to.

Tomorrow I am going to enjoy the morning sunshine and sit outside with my morning coffee and talk to our beautiful rescue hens. I am going to stay mindful of the feelings and the hunger pangs and I am going to let them wash over me and imagine a lighter, healthier me. Tomorrow is the second day of the intensive phase so I will probably need all the help I can get. But I will do it. And I will, by day's end, feel great. And I will know inside myself that I am onto a good thing.

And that, even though there's "No Fun 'til Xmas", that's not entirely true because I had lots of fun finding this 70s record cover called, you guessed it, "Sunshine and Baked Beans.

DAY 1 : Getting ready by eating and drinking everything in sight.

I am keeping a blog of my 'weight loss journey' (as they say ad nauseum on reality shows) because I am pretty much throwing my weight behind this endeavour with everything I have (pun intended).

I am not expecting anyone to read it or give a shit; I am simply writing this experience day-by-day for my own benefit and accountability. And to keep my sense of humour alive whilst attempting a kind of 'in-the-moment' mindfulness.

I figure if I make it public then I am likely to be more accountable. (I do tend towards starting things and then retreating and choosing to hide under the covers of my doona until the guilt passes...)

I have made a simple chart outlining the next few months until Xmas and have added in calorie intake, weight-loss meditation and visualisation sessions, basic exercise, and when I am due to listen to the Psychology of Eating podcast.

I am going to get daily motivational tips from the Optifast website (which acts like an on-line Over-eaters Anonymous sponsor) and I now have an iPhone which I have loaded with all my fave music plus exercise music podcasts.

Last, but not least, yesterday I spent the day polishing off all the food and wine in the house so there's nothing left. And we have no money, so there will be nothing in the fridge for awhile.

I am only weighing myself once a week and my focus is on how I feel instead. Also how my clothes feel. I do not hate myself or the way I look so I believe I have a healthy plan for myself based on health needs and choices. It's about feeling good and being healthy.

I am also not going to kill myself with exercise because that will only lead to failure. At 45 years-old, I certainly know what doesn't work for me, even if I am still to find what does. As I said, the focus is on feeling good both physically and mentally. Also, I have damaged my coccyx quite severely by falling on it on a tiled floor (2nd time in two years) and so I will be gently exercising and doing special yoga stretches to relieve the pain of this.

I am starting this endeavour now as it is the school holidays and I am a teacher so it gives me the head-space to think for a change about my own needs instead of 100 other people in my day and week.

Pic One: An illustrated interpretation of the next 96 days of hell...

Pic Two: Me hiding in bed with bed hair, no make-up, and wondering what the fuck I am thinking doing this ridiculous diet AND BLOGGING ABOUT IT!!!!?????



Well, here it is folks and neighbours! I have eaten and got pissed (all in a good cause, you understand...) on everything in sight and so now it's time to begin!

Tune in (or not) for the first real installment of No Fun Til Xmas!!! xxxx