Hence, this fucking boring weight loss blog.
I need to feel accountable to someone other than myself without paying money to organisations that charge you for the use of their scales (and where Little Britain's Fat Fighter's Club comes to mind).
I also love to write so it gets me doing two things I need to be doing - eating less and writing more.
Today was easy-peasy really. I kept thinking about food and the usual responses to walking into the kitchen and seeing food were what was to be expected from someone with short-term memory loss and low blood sugar: I would like a peanut butter sandwich. Um, no, you can't have one. What? Why? You're an idiot. Oh, I forgot. Shit. (Rolls eyes). Drinks water instead...yum.
Unfortunately, yesterday's binging on everything in the cupboard in order to get rid of it had some unintended, and unwanted, side-effects as, having no food in the house lately due to financial difficulties, the only really large stockpile of anything (apart from Merlot and Classic White) was baked beans and stuffed olives. I paid for last night's efforts to reduce the stockpile, well, today, shall we say...and this evening. And tonight.
I went for a walk to the shops, which was a little hard on the injured tailbone but I swung my hips a bit and the stretch felt therapeutic. Got the sun on my shoulders and a dose of Vitamin D. I didn't feel hungry in the Coles aisles and only did a double-take once at the 2 for $5 offer on Pringles. So I got my walk in, helped the environment, flushed out my kidneys with lots of water, and watched a motivational vid of the chemical changes by body is going through and what to expect tomorrow.
Today was meditation day so I found one that repeated how much I love my body, over and over, til I had to stop the bloody thing. You see, I don't have a problem with NOT loving my body; my problem is loving my body too damn much! I feed what I love, like my kids and my husband. If I want to show love to someone, I cook for them or buy them good coffee spontaneously. Or I leave sweeties on people's desks at work. Or I supply them with wine and cheese. Get my point?
I found a better one that gets you to visualise yourself in white, vibrant light and imagining yourself lighter. I liked that one and I relaxed and fell asleep. But it sort of sunk in the way it was supposed to and I will probably go to that meditation when I feel the urge to eat what I am not supposed to.
Tomorrow I am going to enjoy the morning sunshine and sit outside with my morning coffee and talk to our beautiful rescue hens. I am going to stay mindful of the feelings and the hunger pangs and I am going to let them wash over me and imagine a lighter, healthier me. Tomorrow is the second day of the intensive phase so I will probably need all the help I can get. But I will do it. And I will, by day's end, feel great. And I will know inside myself that I am onto a good thing.
And that, even though there's "No Fun 'til Xmas", that's not entirely true because I had lots of fun finding this 70s record cover called, you guessed it, "Sunshine and Baked Beans.
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